As women, there are subjects that we tend to avoid being honest about. And sometimes try to avoid all together. Maybe it's for fear of being judged or looked at differently. I think it's often not until someone else is honest about their feelings that we then can admit we feel the same way. Why are we so afraid of being honest with our selves and even more so with each other?
Getting pregnant is one of life's little miracles. Many women base their whole entire life on when they will become a mother. And when it does, they are overwhelmed with joy. Well maybe not for all women. Some women although very much wanting to carry a child do not feel it's the best experience. And not all women actually like being pregnant. YES, there I said it! I haven't been pregnant myself, but I have watched several friends go through two completely different experiences when it comes to pregnancy. And it's difficult to see the friends who did not have the greatest experience being pregnant feel shameful for feeling that way. Why can't a woman say that she dreads the part of gaining weight, feels like her body is disowning her, never had anything close to a "glow", admits to drinking more than the recommended coffee amounts, desperately wants to drink a glass of wine and has no urge to breastfeed PERIOD. Why is it so frowned upon for a women to speak her truth? You don't hear women who have great pregnancies shy away from telling everyone....and I mean everyone! But the moment a pregnant women even starts to say something that sounds like a negative remark about pregnancy, you can just see the looks of other women judging her.
Getting married is something you often dream about since you were a little girl. You grow up playing house and even married off your Ken and Barbie dolls. Then as you get older, you date different guys and endure one too many heartbreaks. You see relationships for what they really are. Some great and some that you'd like to forget about. You begin to realize that maybe marriage is not what you want or believe in anymore. But your afraid to even say it out loud much less tell your closest friends and definitely not your Mother. If most of your friends are married or engaged, they would probably just tell you that you're going through a phase. Or tell you that you've just dated the wrong guys and not to worry, your future husband IS out there somewhere. But YOU know deep down that if marriage was somehow NOT in the cards for you, you would probably be okay with that. So, why do we feel this guilt for being brutally honest? And for fear of downplaying our friends marriages and relationships, we reluctantly agree that it's just a phase and tell yourself that you're probably just being a little bitter.
Hold your head high and NEVER let them see you sweat. We are trained since an early age to have our life plan mapped out. College, Career, Marriage then Babies. But what about PLAN B? Or even better yet, PLAN C, D or even E?? Did anyone ever tell you what happens when plan A doesn't fall into place? I didn't think so. So why is that? It's almost as if plan A doesn't go accordingly, then somehow we must have failed in our life. And even worse we would have to admit that we failed if we tried to discuss it with someone else. Not everyone fits into plan A and that's OKAY. Life is often better lived off script. So what you didn't go to college or graduate. And maybe you're in your thirties just now figuring out what you want to do for a longterm career. And maybe being single is your plan for now, so you can travel first before getting married and having kids. What's SO wrong with that plan? Your life doesn't have to be like everyone else's or even in the same order. But we fear to admit to each other that we like our plan better and that life sometimes tastes better against the grain.
You should never apologize for how you feel, who you are as a person or where you stand on certain topics. So often we seek approval from others. But being honest in how you feel may likely make others feel relieved. We also look to other women who are just like us. It's much more comforting and inspiring when you have those who are closest to you share in your same feelings. So, next time your faced with these topics, be true to YOU. Make no excuses and remember, you may not be alone.