HOW TO COPE WITH DIVORCED PARENTS AS AN ADULT

 
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Divorce is something I am all to familiar with. At the age of two, my mother divorced my father. I don't really remember much other than my father not being around afterward. But years later, I remember reading something my mother wrote in my baby book. She wrote how she hoped that the divorce wouldn't screw me up. 

My Mom remarried when I was 7 years old. And my stepfather essentially became the Dad that I never had and took on the role of raising me. They both have helped shape me into the person I am today and we have always been close. But no family is perfect and ours certainly wasn't. After 25 years of marriage, they separated last year and have since divorced. 

I knew it was for the better but it broke me down in ways I never could have imagined. I wasn't prepared for the aftermath and how it would effect me not having the parental unit I was accustomed to having all these years. The first six months I felt depressed and sad by everything that was taking place. One parent was moving on too fast and starting a whole new life and one parent was still struggling to deal with the reality. I felt torn between the two and neither one of them seemed to notice my feelings at all. 

And to make it worse, there was little comfort or understanding from friends and family. Everyone seemed to have the same attitude of "oh well, life happens". But it was MY life and it did matter. And trust me, I never thought that being in my thirties and having divorced parents would be such a big deal. But the truth is, divorce is hard no matter what age you are. You are not bullet proof to the emotions of something just because you're an adult. 

I've had to learn how to set boundaries with both parents all while trying to rebuild my relationship with them individually. How to factor in holidays and visits and everything in between. And because there is no manual on how to deal with it all. I felt like I needed to share the things that helped me in the process. 

1. TAKE A BREAK IF YOU NEED TO

By this I mean, distance yourself if need be. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take care of yourself. Both parents have to deal with their new reality and you have to allow yourself the time to do the same. And don't feel guilty about it. We all need a break from time to time.

2. SORT THROUGH YOUR FEELINGS

You may feel a sense of loss and sadness and it's important to recognize those feelings and deal with them. Talk to someone, write down how you feel and be honest with yourself. And know that you're allowed to feel this way even if others don't understand it.

3. FIND ONE PERSON YOU CAN CONFIDE IN

Your friends may not be sympathetic to your situation. And like any big change in life, you will need someone who can be a listening ear when needed. I am so thankful for my friend, Jackie. She took my calls at any time of day and was there for me when ever I needed a friend. I told her things that I could barely admit to myself. Having someone there you can trust and confide in will help you to get through the worst of days.

4. BE OPEN TO THE CHANGES YOUR PARENTS WILL MAKE IN THEIR LIVES

To be honest, this is still something I am getting used to. It's not easy to see your parents move on and be with other people. And they often start to live a completely different life than they did before. But if I've learned anything through this process, it's that everyone deserves to be happy. And although you may not agree with their new life decisions, it's their choice to make.

5. SET BOUNDARIES

At some point you will have to set boundaries with each parent. And it can often feel like you're putting them in "time out". But in order for you to have a healthy relationship with them individually, you will have to let them know when they are crossing a line. And it's okay to not want to hear every detail of their divorce, or who did what wrong and even things about their new significant other. YOU get to set the boundaries of what makes you comfortable.

6. ESTABLISH INDIVIDUAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH PARENT

Now that each parent has moved on in different directions. You will have to reestablish your relationship with each parent individually. You will also have to find ways to communicate, share holidays and factor in visits. Dedicate some time to spend with each parent separately to re-familiarize yourself with one another. 

It's been a long year of high emotions, changes and accepting the reality of my family's new normal. But I'm thankful that we each seem to have found some sort of peace within ourselves amidst the chaos.  

 

If you've experienced divorce, what helped you to cope?

 

XO, Rae

 

NYC LIVING: 12 RULES OF LIVING IN NEW YORK

 
NYC LIVING: 12 RULES OF LIVING IN NEW YORK

Living in New York City isn't always easy. Although most New Yorkers couldn't imagine living anywhere else, including myself. It takes a certain amount of patience and resilience to live here. However, there are some ways to make the day to day life in the city a bit easier. Here are some tips for living in New York.


1. MASTER THE ART OF PACKING FOR THE DAY

A typical day in New York can consist of many things; including work, a gym session, happy hour or even a night out to dinner and a Broadway show. Packing a bag for the day is essential. Because often times you don't have time to make the trip home in between activities. I usually carry with me everything from a change of shoes, dry shampoo, hair brush, make up bag, jacket, a book, umbrella and phone charger. Most places including restaurants have bag check so you never have to worry about having your hands full when out somewhere. 

2. DRESS IN LAYERS

No matter the season here in the New York, you will often find yourself constantly stuck between hot & cold. Being that you will spend most of your time outside, you never know what the weather may bring. Wearing layers that you can remove or add is key. This way you can be comfortable no matter what the temperature is outside or even inside.

3. ALWAYS CARRY CASH

Although we live in the world of debit cards and Venmo. There are still many places in the city that ONLY accept cash. This includes Bodegas, your favorite food truck and even some restaurants. Always carry cash, you never know when you may need it. 

4. ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU WILL ALWAYS BE RUNNING LATE

New Yorkers may often seem like they're in a hurry. And that's because more often than not, they are. Walking blocks/avenues, hailing cabs and chasing after the Subway is exhausting. No matter how much you plan ahead, you can't predict traffic or the MTA for that matter.

5. LEARN DIRECTIONS (CROSS STREETS) 

When it comes to directions, New Yorkers go by streets and not addresses. Even when taking a cab, make sure to know the cross streets of your destination. Because chances are high your cab driver won't know the physical address if given by itself. 

6. TIP YOUR DELIVERY GUY

The holy grail of New York City is delivery. You can get Chinese takeout, weekly groceries or even a bottle of wine delivered right to your apartment doorstep. But having this luxury means someone else is doing the heavy lifting. Which often includes schlepping through the snow, rain and even up flights of stairs. Make sure to tip accordingly. 

7. FIND FREE THINGS TO DO IN THE CITY

It's no secret that living in New York is expensive. However, there is always something to do in the city and often times it can come with little to no cost. It's all about staying up to date on the latest events and FREE things to do in NYC. Year round there are free concerts, festivals, street fairs, free museum days and more that don't have to break the bank. 

8. DON'T TAKE UP THE SIDEWALKS

New Yorkers walk with a purpose. And if given the chance they may in fact run you over if you're in their way. In order to avoid this, steer to the right when walking on the sidewalks, in order to let people pass you on the left. And NEVER stop in the middle of the sidewalk. Step to the side if needed so foot traffic can keep moving. This is basic NYC etiquette

9. BE NICE TO THE SUPER OF YOUR BUILDING

The Super of your apartment building is essentially responsible for any and all maintenance. At some point or another you may need your Super for any one of these things: re-caulk your shower, kill a rodent, install your window AC unit or even help you get into your apartment after locking yourself out. So needless to say, it pays to be nice to your Super because you never know when you may need him to come to your rescue.


10. NEVER GET ON THE EMPTY TRAIN CAR

There is no worse feeling than when you realize that you just stepped into any empty train car. Leaving you with no choice but to wait it out until the next stop. Because it means one of two things: either there is a homeless person making that train car their home for the night or the AC isn't working and you're going to be sweating for the next few minutes until you reach the next stop. Neither of which make for a pleasant train ride.

11. TAKE A CAB AFTER MIDNIGHT

Remember when your parents used to tell you; nothing good happens after midnight. Well, this applies to the Subway in New York City. Not only will it take you twice as long to get home due to train delays, you'll most likely have to endure drunk passengers or a crowded train with standing room only. Taking a taxi or Uber is totally worth the extra money spent to get home safely.

12. MAKE TIME TO ESCAPE THE CITY

New York can take a toll on you with long work hours and the constant hustle of the city. So it's important to take advantage of any downtime you have. Whether you take a day to Netflix and chill, spend an afternoon at Central Park or book a weekend getaway, do it often. 

 

What are some rules of living in NYC that you've adopted?  

 

XO, Dana Rae

SHINY AND NEW: THE RELAUNCH OF REINVENTING RAE NYC

 
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If you're reading this, then you are seeing the NEW and IMPROVED site for REINVENTING RAE NYC. Ahhhhh, I'm so excited to share this NEW space with y'all. It has been weeks of editing, writing, late nights and LOTS of coffee! But it is FINALLY done and I could not be more HAPPY with the outcome. And if you're new to my blog- WELCOME! 

When I first started this blog (almost 2 years ago) I had no idea where it would take me. Over the past two years, I have learned so much and grown as a writer. I love being able to share with you, my life here in New York City as well as everything in between. Blogging has also connected me with some amazing creatives and other bloggers. I want this new site to be BIGGER and BETTER and full of more content!

SO, WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT TO SEE ON THE NEW SITE? 

Well, to start, this is a whole new platform. I moved all of my content over from Blogger to Squarespace. Which is a HUGE upgrade in itself. I also revised EVERY SINGLE BLOG POST!! I updated the content, images and made sure it was relevant to the blog overall. I'm also going to be posting new blog posts each week that will cover everything from beauty, lifestyle, travel and of course all things NEW YORK. And I'm also working on a new monthly blog post that will feature the "BEST PLACES TO BRUNCH IN NYC". l'll give you the low down on all the hot spots, as my friend Leigh Ann and I, brunch our way through the city. In addition, I'm looking forward to sharing more 'Guides to NYC'. So, whether you have never visited New York before or you've been to the city several times, you can have access to all the latest things to do during your visit. 

I promise there is much more to come in this relaunch of Reinventing Rae NYC. And I can't wait for you to check it all out! Thank you for being here and following along!! 

 

XO, Rae

 

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NEW YEAR, SAME DREAMS

 
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Happy New Year, y'all! I'm excited to get back to blogging and share even more content with you in 2017! Not gonna lie though, I'm kinda sad the holidays are over. I love how the city transforms into this magical place during the month of December. But I guess all good things must come to an end sooner or later. And maybe that's a good thing, considering all the indulging that I've done the past few weeks with holiday treats and cocktails. Thank GOODNESS for yoga pants!

A New Year is kinda like having a fresh start. Whatever held you back last year or didn't bring you joy, you can leave it all behind in 2016. And that is exactly what I plan on doing. Since leaving my 9-5 corporate job in the Summer of 2015, I have been in this awkward transition phase. I worked from home for awhile and have since been putting ideas together of starting my own business. My dream is to create a Lifestyle Brand that reflects me and has something for everyone's budget. And it has proven to be harder than I ever imagined. Not that I thought it would be easy, don't get me wrong. But having BIG DREAMS also means BIG CHALLENGES. So, here I am, back to the drawing board and pushing myself to do EVERYTHING I can to get this business off the ground this year. 

I was recently explaining to a friend, over brunch, how you loose some of your confidence when you haven't worked in awhile. I have always been driven in my professional life. And I always succeeded in any position I held. But when you strip everything away and get back to the basics, it's easy to forget what you are actually capable of. You constantly fight off doubt and start to question yourself. 

I also, allowed my personal life to overshadow my dreams and goals last year. My parents divorced and the aftermath was more that I could handle at times. I spent months just feeling like my whole world was coming apart and I didn't know how to fix it. And it caused me to be distracted and unfocused on my life.

For me, 2017 is going to be a year of CONQUER. I want to conquer the FEAR, DOUBT, COMPARISON and DISTRACTIONS. And I want this year to be the year I let go of anything that doesn't serve a purpose in my life. It is possible to live your best self, you just have to want it bad enough.

How will you make 2017, your best year yet?!

 

XO, Rae

YEAR 2 OF LIVING IN NEW YORK CITY

 
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On October 10th, 2014 at 3 A.M., I crossed over the George Washington Bridge and into Manhattan. Moving to New York was never something I saw myself doing, but when life brings you opportunities, sometimes you have to take it and RUN! It's hard to even believe that it's been 2 years already. I still feel like I just moved here but also strangely feel like I've been here forever. That's the thing about New York, once you live here you instantly become attached. My first year living in New York was one to remember. It was full of amazing experiences and growth. And year two has been just as memorable. Here are some of my favorite memories over the past year. 

 

STANDING ATOP THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING

Seeing all of New York City from 86 floors up above, gives you all the feels. It also, gives a whole new meaning to the phrase “Empire State of Mind”. It reminded me how lucky I am to be able to call this concrete jungle, home. 

SUNDAY FUNDAY IN BROOKLYN

This Summer, my brother visited NYC for the very first time. I was excited to get to show him around the city. But I also wanted to show him life outside of Manhattan. And Brooklyn is the next best borough. We first walked across the Brooklyn Bridge, then grabbed pizza at Grimaldi's (best pizza in Brooklyn) and finished the day drinking beers at the Brooklyn Brewery. By far, one of my most favorite days.

TAKING MY MOM TO SEE 'THE COLOR PURPLE' ON BROADWAY

The moment I learned that Heather Headley would be taking on the role of Shug, I knew I had to see this show. And what better show to take your Mom to during a girls weekend?! It was one of the best shows I have seen thus far. After the show, I pulled my Mom quickly aside and stood to wait for the cast outside. We got to have our playbills signed by all of the main cast including Heather Headley and Cynthia Erivo. I was freaking out (on the inside of course). Sharing that moment with my Mom was amazing. 

SEEING ALICIA KEYS PERFORM IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER

I may have had to wake up at 4:30 A.M. to only stand in the back of the crowd behind a street light pole. But to hear Alicia Keys sing LIVE made all of it worth it. Not to mention, I got to share the moment with my best friend. We bonded over Alicia Keys music over a decade ago, when we first met and I'm pretty sure we will dance to 'No One' one day at my wedding. 

WITNESSING MY BEST FRIEND PROPOSE TO HIS BOYFRIEND

That dinner, those words and the tears shed will always be a night to remember. I can't wait to help plan their wedding and stand next to my best friend as he says 'I Do'.  Love is Love. 

FINDING NEW FRIENDSHIPS

Moving to a new city means meeting new friends. And although there are millions of people here, it almost makes it harder. Everyone is busy with work and the city hustle, so it's not often you find long lasting friendships. But I have been lucky to meet some amazing people and I am so glad I get to call them friends.

I never could have imagined all the things that would come with living in New York City. Every day still feels as exciting as the next. I can't wait to see what the next 365 days bring!

 

XO, Rae

BLANK PAGE: A LIFE UPDATE

 
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We're adults, when did that happen? And how do we make it stop? These words immediately resonated with me as I heard them out loud during an episode of Grey's Anatomy. I was having a rough day and was in my feelings. So, I ordered Chinese food, dug deep into the blankets on my bed and binged watched a season of Grey's on Netflix. And at that very moment of hearing those words, I burst into tears. Life has recently reminded me that it owes you nothing and that change is inevitable. 

I know now more than EVER that life happens regardless if you're ready for it or not. This year has been full of change both personally and professionally. My family dynamic has changed with the divorce of my parents. Although probably best for both parties involved, it still comes with a sense of pain and loss. And one thing I was not prepared for, is how it has changed the relationship I have with my mother. She is someone I have always been extremely close with. But I'm learning that parents have their life to live just as we have our own. And even though I wish things could go back to the way they were, this is now our new normal.

I also, recently parted ways with my half-sister. This is something that has built up for years but still hurts nonetheless. I understand now that with loss comes growth. I have always been a "fixer" in my relationships with others. And this year has taught me that there are some things that can't be fixed. I've learned to accept things for what they are. And in the process, I am also learning to stop carrying the guilt. Being an adult comes with responsibility, but it also comes with the freedom of doing what is best for YOU.

My professional life has taken on a whole new meaning. As I once used to pride myself on a title I held in the corporate world, I'm now learning the meaning of being an entrepreneur. I never realized how much I depended on a job status until I stripped it away. But in the past year of reinventing myself, I realized that I didn't need to have a "title" or "status" in order to be happy. My only regret is that I wish I had realized this sooner. But life is funny that way, in that it gives you exactly what you need when you least expect it.

So, let this be a reminder that life comes with many unexpected changes. And even when life feels like too much, just know that you will get through it. Although, I never would have imagined all the change this year would bring, I am reminded that I have much to look forward to. And one being, embarking on year number three of living in New York City this October.

Everything in life is temporary. And you can always start new on a blank page.

 

XO, Rae

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

 

Lately, when talking to friends the same words seem to pop up in conversation, 'never say never'. I was reminded of these words again as I scrolled through Facebook this morning & looked back at an old status I wrote in 2010. 

I had no intentions on ever moving to New York City. I was perfectly content with my life in Atlanta. It was only tempting to move because my best friend had literally just moved from Atlanta to New York & I felt lonely. But I knew my life was in Atlanta and I had worked so hard to build that life. My career was just starting to come together & I was surrounded by the people I adored most. 

Fast forward almost 5 years later and life changed drastically. I started to be more open to the possibilities of leaving it all behind to pursue bigger things. Literally over a year's time I would contemplate the move to NYC. I was in a different head space than previously and I was ready to see what more was out there for me. So, I took a leap of faith and made the decision to move to NYC in the fall of 2014. The moment I actually committed to the idea, it seemed like everything fell into place. I didn't have any hesitations from that point on. Everyone was extremely supportive of my decision and not one person tried to convince me otherwise. So, I took all the encouragement and promised myself I would make the most of this new chapter. 

I didn't have a job lined up when I moved to New York. My plan was to take some time to get moved and adjusted to the city. I got anxious to get out there so 3 weeks after, I landed a position with one of the top medical practices. I was ecstatic to say the least. From my first interview, I knew this was the job for me. Immediately, I felt like I was taking NYC head on. But 6 months in, I couldn't do it anymore. I loved the job but the work environment was not ideal. It was not an easy decision for me but after a lot of consideration and countless nights crying over bad days at work, I made the decision to resign. The day I gave notice, I felt like I could breathe again. I didn't feel stressed or bad for what I had just done. I felt like it was what I had to do. I had never quit a job like that ever in my life. I've always held long term jobs ever since I was 15 years old. So, this was new territory for me. I didn't really have a plan B. And I was okay with that, for once. Which if you know me, I never not have things planned out. I'm a planner by default. But I knew I wasn't happy. I also remembered that I promised myself to live a different life here in New York by any means necessary. And I wasn't willing to compromise my happiness after leaving everything behind in Atlanta.

I wrote this Facebook status a year ago today (the day before my last day at my job):

A year later, I haven't looked back since. I took a chance on myself. And honestly I've never been happier. The past year has allowed me to get back to what's important in life. It has made me realize how unhappy I was all those years living at my job that I had always put above everything else. It has given me the opportunity to strip down to what I really want in life and what I never want to settle for. I've been blessed enough to be able to work from home, travel, write my blog and just enjoy living in this amazing city. 

My dream is to be an entrepreneur. And I'm hoping to make that happen sooner than later. I often let fear get in the way, but then I am reminded of how far I've come and all the things I've done that I never thought where even possibilities. So, I'm saying, never say never. Don't hold yourself back from things you want or deserve in your life. Everything happens for a reason. I honestly believe that. Be open to the possibilities of changing your mind. Trust the process and know that you are exactly where you're supposed to be. 

 

XO, Rae

33 LESSONS I'VE LEARNED SO FAR IN MY THIRTIES

 
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Before I turned 30, I thought I had to have it all figured out. But what I didn't realize at the time, was that my 30s would be some of the best years of my life, full of changes and new possibilities. As the saying goes; “With age comes wisdom”. Here are some lessons I’ve learned so far in my 30s.

1. Stop living life based on a checklist. Your life shouldn’t look like everyone else’s.

2. Travel often. Don't let money or circumstances hold you back. 

3. Quit the job you hate. There are far better opportunities, if you go after them. 

4. Don't settle. Not for anyone or anything. 

5. Buy the more expensive bottle of wine. Your body will thank you the next day. 

6. While you’re frustrated at being Single. Your married friends envy your freedom. 

7. Stop trying to please everyone. Seriously, it's impossible. 

8. Send 'Thank You' notes. Handwritten notes never go out of style.

9. Love the body you have. Flaws and all.

10. Start a daily skincare routine. The sooner the better.

11. Get more sleep. Pulling all nighters gives you dark circles & puffy eyes. 

12. Remove toxic people from your life.

13. Disconnect from everything every once in awhile. (phone included)

14. Learn how to cook & host a holiday dinner. 

15. Say “I Love You” more. Tomorrow is not promised. 

16. Stop thinking you have to have it all figured out.

17. Create goals for yourself. Even small ones sometimes make the biggest impact.

18. Surround yourself with people who truly get you, encourage you and support you. 

19. Things will fall apart at times. The key is for you not to fall apart. 

20. Don't let your past define who you are. We all have baggage.

21. Invest in your future. Enroll in a 401K or savings plan. 

22. Never apologize for wanting the best for yourself. 

23. Life should be lived with no regrets.

24. You will experience loss and it may change you forever.

25. Don't carry the burden for others.

26. Money does NOT define happiness. 

27. Failures are not mistakes, only lessons learned.

28. Stop comparing yourself to others. We all have strengths and weaknesses.

29. You are capable of so much more than you think you are. 

30. Being successful is not defined by just your job.

31. Move to a NEW city if you're unhappy in the current one you live in.

32. Chase your dreams, even if they scare the hell out of you.

33. Do what makes YOU happy and make no apologies for it.

 

XO, Dana Rae

7 THINGS I LEARNED MY FIRST YEAR OF BLOGGING

 

One year ago today, I hit 'Publish' on the very first blog post for 'Reinventing Rae NYC'. Ever since I moved to New York, my friends had encouraged the idea of me writing a blog. They wanted to be able to hear all the stories of my new life in NYC. 

I've been working on writing a book loosely based on my real life and relationships for a few years now. So, it seemed fitting that a blog would be a good way to start sharing my writing and in hopes of gaining a following. So, after a few days of brainstorming with my roommates and several hours of writing down potential blog names, I finally came up with the name ReinventingRaeNYC. The name is significant to me for two reasons.

 Rae is my middle name. A name that I actually didn't really like until I was in my twenties, oddly enough. And I rarely ever went by that name until I moved to New York. There is something about going by a "new" name, that gives you a new energy on your life and who you are. 

 Reinventing came about because I felt it best described my experience here in New York City and the current stage of life I'm in. I'm reinventing myself in so many ways, in my personal life, in my career and even in my everyday life here in New York City. 

Blogging is still something that is completely new for me. My blog is far from being perfect or even where I envision it to be. It's a constant work in progress. But everyday I learn something new about the ins and the outs of the blogging world. Which is exciting and encouraging in itself. If I could offer any advice on blogging and what it has taught me in my first year, it would be this. 

1. Creative Outlet:

Blogging like most writing is a way to express yourself and share your thoughts, ideas and opinions with others. It has definitely been a creative outlet for me. There is something so fulfilling about sharing your real life stories along with your hopes & dreams and lessons learned to complete strangers. I often joke and say that blogging is kinda like free therapy. I mean we all need a creative outlet, right?  

2. Time Consuming:

Full time and even part time blogging can take up a lot of your time in more ways that I ever could have imagined. It's not just about the time that it takes to write about a subject. Which for me, can take hours or sometimes even days to write depending on what I am writing about.  Not including the hours spent re-reading it and editing it. Then there are photos that have to correlate to the post, most in which I create myself using several different apps (WordSwag, Pic Collage, Canva) or photos that I've taken with my iPhone. 

Then once a post is ready to be published, you have to share, share, share! Sharing a blog post on social media is crucial in order to make it go out to a larger audience. Social media by far is the most time consuming aspect in my opinion. There are days that I spend just working on social media, alone.

3. Start Somewhere:

You won't always know what to say. Often you will find yourself staring a blank page. For me I want to write something authentic and meaningful. I never want to just write a blog post just to get it up on my site. (Hence why there are some gaps in posts) I want my blog to be real so that other's can hopefully relate to what I'm writing about. I find that if I plan out my weekly/monthly content on paper, it helps me to stay motivated and invested in the topics I have chosen. Most importantly, if you have a day lacking in inspiration, just start writing. It will all come together and you may even surprise yourself in the outcome. 

4. Discouraging:

There have been many days in which I felt discouraged in the process of blogging. Sometimes you feel like you have nothing worthy of writing about. And there will be days you ask yourself "who is really reading my blog anyways"? All of that plays a factor. Not to mention the times you pour your heart into a blog post and you literally have no comments on it or shares on social media. It can be lonely at times as a blogger, especially when working from home. Struggle is real some days. But that's why there is WINE.  

5. Non-support:

This is one that I've had to learn to not take so personally. The reality of blogging is that not all of your friends and family will support your blog. Many of which won't really understand it at all. The truth is that they often won't even take the time to 'Like' your Facebook page, comment on your blog posts or even read your blog at times. And that's okay. You can't expect all your friends/family to constantly keep up with your blog. But the flip side is when you have unexpected supporters and those who really take an interest in it. 

6. Build Your Network:

Because you can't solely depend on friends and family to share in the day to day of of your blog. Building a blogging network is crucial. I am still working on building my own network however, so far it has been a huge factor in my growth as a blogger. Surrounding yourself with other bloggers who get it can certainly empower you on days that you feel like your not progressing. And luckily with social media, this is easy to do. Connecting with other bloggers is a great way to share struggles and successes alike. I have found that participating in Facebook groups like The Blogger LifeBlogging Boost, and Blogging Newbs have been a great way for me to gain knowledge, help with promoting my blog and receive advice when needed.

7. Progress NOT Perfection:

The most important lesson I have learned so far, is that progress is key not perfection. I say this because I think initially with any new project, we ultimately want it to be perfect. As bloggers, we often compare our blog to other blogs and judge our blog's success based on how many followers we have vs. the followers of other bloggers. But in time you realize that it's more important to have progress overall. I still have a ways to go with my blog until I will be 100% content with it. But that's what keeps me excited about blogging on a daily basis. The strive for continuing to make progress with my writing and layout of my blog. 

They say the first year of any new endeavor is the hardest. So, I plan to take the lessons learned in my first year of blogging and use them to help me in the coming months. Reminding myself that with hustle and hard work comes success.

THANK YOU to everyone who has shared this experience with me. Whether you read my blog, share it on social media, comment on blog posts, been a listening ear and/or even inspired me on a subject I wrote about. YOU make this blog possible. And I can't thank you enough for supporting me along the way. 

 

XO, Rae