how to let go for good

Even when it's hard to walk away from something, doing so allows you to be reminded that life goes on regardless. You should NEVER stay stuck in something. And yet we often feel compelled or obligated to stay in our complicated relationships, dead end jobs or unfulfilled friendships. Which begs the question: WHY?! Honestly, I think it has a lot to do with FEAR. Fear of letting go. Fear of moving on. Fear of what we may leave behind. Fear of the unknown. So, how do you let go even when you know it's the best thing to do? 

This is an area in my life that to be honest, I still struggle with. I'm good at holding on to things even when I know they aren't good for me. And I'm even better at letting things stay the same for fear of the "what if's". But as I've gotten older, I have learned that letting go doesn't have to be a bad thing. It often means freeing yourself from the things that are no longer serving you. And it can also be exactly what you need to move forward in your life. So I'm sharing three steps that have helped me deal with letting go in life, and maybe can help you as well. 



The first step, is to admit that something needs to change. Maybe you feel like you don't have many options right now, but there is always a choice that can be made. Easier said than done, I know. But ask yourself, am I happy? And then ask yourself, what can I do about it? Also, remind yourself that you can't do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. Change is hard, but once you make the commitment to do it, you've already taken the first big step in letting go.  



Second, I think you have to be willing to be open to what comes after you let go. Which is often scary to embrace the unknown. But it can also be liberating if you allow yourself the opportunity. Commit to your decision made and let life happen. Don't let the fear of what could happen stop you from pursuing a new outcome. This is where the real work begins, because it's much easier to allow ourselves to stay in a comfortable place rather than be open to new possibilities. But if we do the work, things often start to fall in place over time. 



Lastly, I think that you have to be confident in your decision moving forward. Remind yourself everyday if you have to, why you made the decision to let go in the first place. And then place your trust in the process. Don't beat yourself up over the what if's, or bumps along the way. Sometimes the things that lie ahead of us test us the most. And as you move forward, don't look back unless you plan on using that glimpse as motivation to keep going. Otherwise, stay the course and know that life is what you make of it. 


I would love to hear from you all, and what has helped you in situations of letting go? Comment below.  


XO, Rae


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This blog post has been a long time coming. But even with that said, it's still difficult to write even as I am typing these words. Let me first say, that I am so thankful to have this platform to be able to be raw and open with y'all. And I've always said that no matter what, I will keep things real on here even when it's not pretty. After all, my goal of this blog is to write about REAL life and how we often find that we are 'REINVENTING' ourselves. 


This year has not been my best. I had high hopes for what would be to come and what I would accomplish. If your new here, let me back up a little to the Summer of 2015. I had just left my comfy corporate job here in the city after deciding that I wanted to explore other options. At the time, I didn't know what those other options were. For the first time in my life, I left a job with no plan as to where I would be next. The month before I left, I started my blog Reinventing Rae NYC. Initially the blog was a way to connect with friends and family since I had just moved to New York six months prior. I knew nothing about blogging at the time, but I had a passion for writing. I had no clear vision of where the blog would eventually go, I just knew I wanted to write about life here in the city and real things happening in my day to day life.

In late 2015, I started to play around with the idea of starting my own business. Although I wasn't sure what exactly it would entail, I was excited for the possibilities. Fast forward over the next year, after talking to a friend, ideas started to come together for a product based business. Products that would include drinkware (coffee mugs, wine glasses, tumblers, etc., with a plan of eventually adding party accessories and stationary. I have a passion for putting together gifts for friends and loved ones as well as planning any type of event or social gathering. This was my brain telling me to put all of my passions to good use and make it profitable. In August of 2016, I started to put plans together and collaborate with a friend who had the talent I needed to make my ideas a reality.

But early on in 2016, my personal life was falling apart. (Well, at least that's how it felt anyways) I was struggling with myself in this new found free time on my hands and the lack of structure in my everyday life. Although it would be my busiest year yet, having friends and family visit me in the city almost every month. Not even kidding. This kept me distracted in a lot of ways although I welcomed it most of the time. Which also allowed me to be less accountable for myself, claiming that I was "too busy" to do anything else. And on top of everything, my parents decided to divorce after 26 years of marriage. And even though it wasn't a complete shock, the aftermath hit me hard. I am not one to adapt to change very well, especially when it involves those closest to me. And this would prove to bring a lot of change that I was in no way prepared for.

Over the course of the year, I quickly lost focus of my business planning and started to loose sight of what my goals actually were. I was struggling to be happy and stay in a positive place when I felt like so many things were falling apart. This continued into 2017, even though I set out to finally conquer my fears and get serious about starting my business. This year has been full of ups and downs. I would take several steps forward and then I would take even more steps back. I even sought out a business mentor and completed my business plan. And with the push of friends and family, I made the bold move of ordering physical products in hopes to launch and start selling in the Fall of this year. But when those products finally arrived, they were less than desirable. There were more mugs with imprint errors, than there were ones that I could actually sell. It was a huge disappointment. Luckily, I was able to return the product (all 446 mugs) and received a full refund. Everyone was busy reassuring me that things like this happen and I could easily begin again. But I felt like something was missing all along and that maybe this was a sign. Even with all the progress I was able to make throughout this year, I was still holding myself back from moving forward with everything.

For the past 6+ months I have admittedly been depressed. Which is something I have battled with before. However, it is never easy to openly talk about. And I think that several factors have contributed to my depression this time around. As time has gone on, it has proven to be difficult to stay motivated and be productive while at home full time. Structure is something I never realized I relied on so much until I had to create it for myself. And with lack of a consistent schedule, my sleep habits were a mess. I have gone through periods of staying up all hours of the night with little to no sleep to days where I barely function before noon. I've questioned what I really want my career to look like and IF I have the ability to make it happen. I've allowed fear and insecurities to take over even when I had all the resources. And my family and I continue to try and adjust to a new "normal". 

It wasn't until a few weeks ago, that I finally opened up to a few close friends with all my recent struggles and everything I had been going through. It was hard to put into words at first, but I felt relieved to talk about it openly. And it was in those conversations when I started to realize that it's okay to lose yourself at times. Nobody is perfect. We are all human. We all have shitty things that happen to us in life. And we all certainly go through difficult times. We can't expect ourselves to always keep going when we feel like breaking down. And sometimes you just need to listen to your gut and take a step back. 

I somehow started to build up walls in order to protect myself, but in reality those same walls have made me closed off from the people and things I love most. And I know now that often times you have to break down to get back up. And most importantly, give yourself the chance to cope with things. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason. And maybe you have to go through the real tough shit in order to come out better than you were before. 


Now, I am more determined than ever to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. I still have a lot of things to consider and work through. But one thing I know for certain, is that I really want to focus on my blog over the next year. I put so much hard work into building a new website this past April. And I feel like I ended up neglecting the blog over these past few months. Writing has always been such a great outlet and I want to continue to share things that I'm passionate about with y'all. I've already started working on lots of new content for the coming months. 

We are never as broken as we think we are. So, if you're going through a season of change or feel like your life is in chaos. Remember this. EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY. 


XO, Rae 


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We are all subject to falling into a funk from time to time. Because happens. Maybe you feel stuck in a rut, overwhelmed, burnt-out or even unmotivated in every day tasks. It's easy to loose ourselves in the process of trying to keep up with it all. Our jobs, friendships, relationships, family, social calendars and everything in between. 

Life can be hectic and chances are, it's not slowing down anytime soon. So the next time you find yourself in a funk, here are 5 ways you can pull yourself out and get back to living your life. 



I know that your comfy bed & a pint of Ben & Jerry's is tempting when your feeling down and out. And it's easy to just want to seclude yourself from the rest of the world. But fresh air can do wonders. Even if you have to force yourself....GET UP, GET DRESSED & GET OUT of the house. Go for a walk, run or just put your bare feet in the grass. Seriously. My friend, Jackie swears by this and I've tried it and IT WORKS! 



Not that buying things is the way to solve your problems or that you have to spend money on yourself every time you fall into a slump. But if it makes you feel better and you can afford it, DO IT! Take yourself out for coffee, go shopping for that new pair of shoes you've been eyeing at Nordstrom or pamper yourself with a mani + pedi. If you want a more budget friendly option, you could have an at home spa day. Taking time out for YOU, can help boost your mood and help take your mind off of things. 



We all get by with a little help from our friends, am I right?! So, why not lean on them when you need them the most. Your real friends will understand that there are times you may just need to vent and have a listening ear. Sometimes just talking about what's going on in our life helps us to feel better. And often our friends struggle with similar things as us. The more you open up to the people around you, the more you will create an open dialogue. And who best, than your closest friends to give you advice and help you through the difficult stuff. 



Now days we have this notion that we can only share the "perfect" things in our life on social media. But people don't want nor expect your life to be 'PERFECT 24/7'. Life can be complicated. And sometimes it's okay to share that. I personally, feel relieved when seeing other people share on social media, that they are struggling with something in their life. Why?! Because it means that they are just like me, human. And it actually makes you more relatable to others. We tend to get caught up with only posting pretty squares on Instagram. But people want to see the real YOU. I promise you'll be surprised by the kindness of strangers. 



Self care is the best care. Schedule a day for just YOU. Take a personal day from work, cancel any meetings, unplug from social media, leave your inbox as is and turn your phone off. The laundry can stay in a pile on the floor for one more day, emails can wait and work will still be there tomorrow. Allow yourself 24 hours to do NOTHING. You can binge watch Netflix and not have to change out of your pajamas if you see fit. Pants optional. When it all feels like too much, give yourself the chance to recharge. 


What do you find helpful when trying to pull yourself out of a funk?! Comment below. 


XO, Rae  



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When you're about to embark on a big life change, it's important to consider a few things.


I'm a planner, naturally. I always have a 'To Do' list for everyday tasks, I plan my outfits ahead of time and when I travel it's even worse. I am always thinking about the next thing that I need to plan for whether personal or business related. However, when your facing a big life change, your plan may not go as perfectly as you hoped for. And that's OKAY. Sometimes the best moments in life are the unexpected ones. You have to be open to the ups and the downs that you may be up against. And just trust that in the end, it will all work out how it's supposed to.


When I decided to move to New York, I got lucky. All of my friends and family couldn't have been more supportive. But that isn't always the case for some. It's easier for people to tear you down than it is to build you up. Not everyone will see your vision and encourage you to chase your dreams. Be prepared to move forward with or without some of your friends and family's support. Don't let others influence you or make you feel less than excited about your decision. After all, it is YOUR life. 


Easier said than done, I know. Change used to literally give me anxiety. I grew up with a lot of change in my childhood so as an adult it became harder for me to accept change. The key is embracing it, not hiding from it. And if all else fails, at least you can say you took the leap of faith and tried. In life, you have to take chances to see the reward. If you can one day look back on your life and say that you have no regrets, imagine how fulfilling that will be. Nothing worth having comes easy. 


We often make decisions based on a mixture of emotions. Sometimes a combination of our own wants and needs as well as other's. It isn't always easy to make yourself a priority. However, when making a big change in your life, you have to do it for yourself above anything else. It's never selfish to want to follow your dreams or to take steps to having a more fulfilled life. Your happiness is the ultimate goal. 

So, no matter what big life change you may be considering or beginning to embark upon. Remember to be open to the possibilities, take the good with the bad, have no regrets and do what makes YOU happy. 


XO, Rae